Edmonton!

We are heading to Edmonton on Thursday and we couldn't be more excited! We are going for 9 days and already it feels like we won't have enough time there. We have something planned every single day we are there and that only includes just ONE day of shopping. Which is probably good for my husband but not for me :) One day when i was trying to explain to my two year old where we were going i happen to day "We are going home" Peter was quite surprised that i even said that. But once i started to think about it, I think to me it still is home. We have only lived in our new place for 3 months now and before that we were living at my mothers, so really home still feels like it's on 9019-92nd Street! I know "home is where your heart is" but there have been many times where both my husband and I feel a longing for "home" as in Edmonton. There are moments where I can see our family settling here in Manitoba and the though of us moving again scares the crap out of me, especially if it's cross province! Anywho, I can not begin to describe to you how excited I am to go and see my friends and family! Especially my bestie whom i havent seen in 2 years!

What to write about?

I have been sitting at my computer trying to decide what to blog about. So I decided to give you a quick summary of each!

#1- Taking Enzo's soother away.

It's been going alot better than i thought it would! Yay for sleep!

#2- Work

I got a job! It's been going great and I love it! Even though I think my husband would like me to be home ;)

#3- Singing

I've stopped singing b.c someone took my passion away and made me feel like I was not good enough. I need to sing again b.c I LOVE IT and I know i'm good at it.

#4- Baby number 3?

Maybe. Not anytime soon though.

#5- Pinterest

I'm totally addicted and i want to do and make everything on there!

That is all.

To Sleep or Not to Sleep?

Is that really the question?!?!?

First of all, my apologies for not writing in 4 months! Life has been busy!

Back to my thought.....

Peter and I like to sleep train our children. This is just a nice way of saying "We let our children cry out as long as they need to so that they pass out and fall asleep" I do very much support any parent who takes this route in the long journey that can be teaching your child how to sleep, but also support any other decisions and steps parents take. I for one, have no patience in rocking, holding or shu-shing (sp) my child to sleep, so this method my option. With Rocco, it took 2 nights and it was over. From then on, he has been a wonderful napper and night time sleeper. We barely go in his room. But my little 23 pound Enzo has been a completely different story. We have been "training" him since he was 3 months old...and he's almost 8 months!!! He goes for naps just fine and will sleep over and hour, and when we put him down for the night he does go to sleep right away. The problem is that he doesn't stay asleep. He will wake up 2-3 times in the night. Sometimes all i have to do is pop the soother back in his mouth, other times it can take over an hour for him to fall back asleep. These are the times where i lay in bed completely frustrated and I am at a loss for what to do. So we let him cry. I get mad at myself for not having more patience for him. So I pray...I pray hard during these moments, but sometimes my prayers go like this " Dear Lord...you can move mountains, cure cancer, do all things, so make my child sleep!" Not the most humbling prayer, i know, but i think God sees my frustrations and then makes me laugh at myself for being a little crazy. I just have to remember that Enzo is different than Rocco and one day he'll figure it out. When I tell Peter that i'm once again at peace with everything he says to me "and you want another child because?????" Because despite the lack of sleep, children are awesome!

Jesus Loves Me

Peter usually puts Rocco to bed. Since he works all day and barely gets to spend time with him, bed time routine is all about father and son. I usually keep myself busy at that time getting things done that I wasn't able to earlier in the day. But one night i noticed that Peter was singing " Jesus loves me" to Rocco before he left the room. So tonight, i had finished everything i had to do and just watched Peter get Rocco ready for bed. Before we left the room Rocco asked for "cantar" which means "sing" in Spanish. Peter then began to sing "Jesus loves me" Rocco had the biggest smile on his face and softly began to sing along with Peter. I thought it was the most beautiful thing i've ever seen and heard. It was just so pure, and innocent and I just cried. Maybe i'm a little more emotional now that i'm a mama, but my hope is that my boys know that Jesus DOES love them and that they will experience what He has to offer them. What a beautiful reminder on how much Jesus loves ME enough to give me my beautiful children. I'm so blessed.

The Joys of running

It is true. I LOVE running. I run for about 45 minutes everyday. I go right after we put Rocco to bed and then i'm off. I think i love it now, b.c it is my zone out time. I don't even bring an ipod with me b.c i love just hearing the sound of the breeze in the trees and cars driving by. It is 45 minutes of pure nothing and not thinking about anything related to kids. Well, sometimes that's not entirely true...yesterday on my run i found myself singing the "Thomas the Train" song in my head. I had a good chuckle to myself. It also feels good to do some physical activity and know that my journey on losing more weight is still going strong! So far i'm down 12 pounds...i still have more to go, but at least we are heading in the right direction! :)

"I yuv you mama"

"I yuv you mama" Those are the words my beautiful son Rocco told me this morning. I went into his room bright and early at 7am to get him out of his crib, and when i picked him up, he wrapped his little arms around my neck, squeezed me tight and said those beautiful pure words. My heart couldn't even handle it. I had so much emotion I didn't even know what to do with it...and still don't. It is absolutely indescribable unless you have a child...then you know what I mean. To be able to have and love a child is the most amazing experience in the entire world.

High School Reunion

This weekend was my 10 year high school reunion. It was fabulous. I was very nervous at first, b.c most of the people that were going to be there i hadn't talked to them since high school and i thought it was going to be awkward and just weird. It was at first, but overall the atmosphere was pure joy. Everyone was SO excited to see everyone. We were all giving each other hugs and for me anyways, there was no awkwardness after all. Even to those classmates I barely talked to in high school, it was easy to talk to them b.c really all everyone wanted to know was...."what have you been up to the last ten years?"...and the conversations just happened. My bible teacher had given us back our letters that we had written to ourselves back in grade 12 and, i do have to say i got a little emotional reading it. I also had a good laugh at myself for being so naive and not knowing what i wanted to do with my life, but i also asked myself questions like "Are you still a Christian?" "Did you end up going to University?" and just reading those things makes me think about all that i have done in the last 10 years and how time has gone by so fast. I do have to say that I wish i could have seen all my classmates. They'll never know it, but they were all missed. After it was all said and done, i look back on it all and am thankful for my teachers and for every person i went to high school with, even if they were not my friends. They have all influenced me in some way shape or form to help me become who i am today. So thank you call of 2001!

No nap Ana

As most of you know, I love love love to sleep! I look forward every night to go to bed and if i ever get a chance to nap, I am basically giddy with excitement. Peter laughs at me every time i get so excited to go to bed and before Enzo was born, he would essentially put Rocco down for a nap and then put me "down" It was hilarious. Now with two kids, I don't really like to take naps. For one, it takes me a while to get to sleep, and by the time that sleepy feeling comes around, one of the boys needs some sort of attention. So now when I put Rocco for his nap, it's my one on one time with Enzo. I love this time. It's quiet, calm and peaceful and i get to enjoy my baby boy just like i was able to with Rocco. Then when Enzo falls asleep, i get to catch up on all my recorded television and have some "me" time. Then when Rocco wakes up, we both have the energy to get through the rest of day!

Weight Watchers

I've been on weight watchers now for about 5 weeks. So far, i've lost some weight and i hope to loose a lot more in the next couple of months. But being on this program has made me crazy. Food is constantly on my mind. What to eat, how much, when is my next meal, how many points do i have left, i'm still hungry. Those are a few of many food related thoughts i have all day long. I also have "exercise thoughts" What can I do to burn calories? am i going to be able to go for a run tonight? Do i even feel like going out in this weather? Sometimes i just feel like screaming. I hate how my body gains weight so fast, I hate how i have stretch marks from my pregnancies, I hate that i don't fit into any cute clothes for the summer. It is quite overwhelming for my to deal with all these thoughts. I consider myself a confident person, and so all this makes me feel un-balanced. I know we all have our insecurities, but being on weight watchers, has made them worse. I feel like everyone is watching my every move and if this doesn't work, that i will be a complete failure. It's a lot of pressure and therefore this process is not fun at all. I do enjoy being able to exercise, and so far running has proved to be a lot more fun than it once was. I understand that I need a plan in order to reach my goals but all I can say is that it sucks, and i'm still hungry.

Good Boys!

As most of you know, Peter, myself and the rest of our little family have been living at "home" for almost 2 years now (as a side note, we are planning on moving out in the next few months!) and we have had the unbelievable privilege to have a "in house" babysitter...also known as Abuelita (grandma in Spanish) Usually anytime we want to go out with friends, or just go to an event "kid free" we are able to without a problem! When it was just Rocco, and as long as someone was home, we would leave him in bed and head out the door care free. There are even some mornings where my mom would just say "go back to bed...i'll take the boys" Those are the most beautiful words a mother can hear! Especially when you have a newborn and then your other child decides to wake up at 6am! Tonight though, we did not have that luxury. We had been invited to a BBQ at a friends place and originally my mother had offered to babysit but something had come up and she was not able to be home in time. So, we decided to take the entire family. Peter and I were a bit nervous not knowing how they would behave, and to make matters a little worse, Enzo had a bit of a crying fit before we left and didn't finish a feed. For sure I thought this was going to be an early night! We got there, we ate, we laughed and even talked! It was wonderful! Of course there were moments when Rocco had to be entertained, but he made a new friend and played "cars" with him! He even sat on my lap for a while and read some of his books! Enzo was held by some people and then hung out in his bouncy chair the rest of the night! I was pleasantly surprised how well behaved our boys were and realized that it is very much do-able to take them with us wherever we go! And it is good experience for us and them to learn how to be in different environments. We did leave at 9pm b.c Rocco was having a meltdown b.c he wanted to go to the playground across the street, but I would have too if i was the only 2 year old there stuck with adults! :) and it was WAY past his bedtime!

Commited to Parenting

Last night I went out for coffee with a good friend of mine and we came to the topic of kids. Naturally of course, b.c i now have two and she is expecting her first. We began to discuss the great things about kids and that when people have 2 kids it's for sure "commiting to parenting" It does not mean that if you only have one child that you are NOT committed, but with 2, it seems that the word "comitted" takes on a whole new meaning. With only Rocco in our lives it seemed that we lead our life almost the same way as we did before we had him with. We could still go out late (as long as we had somewhere to put his playpen so he could sleep or he stayed home with Abuelita), we would still, for the most part, be able to do what we wanted at home, and life was still pretty simple. Now that we have Enzo, it seems that adding one more person in our family has made life a little more crazy and also a little more difficult to take time for myself...and for my husband. I see now why there are so many articles out there talking about the importance of not revolving your life around your kids and really taking the time to be with your spouse and making an effort of spend some quality time together, without children. Also, being a little selfish too I think is more than ok. I realized that i need some "me" time in order for me to be a good parent to my boys. I need to go and get a pedicure, or go out for supper with a friend to feel refreshed and energized. I need to remember that I am not just a mother now, but still a wife and a friend!

On my own

Tomorrow my husband starts working full time. He will be working from 7-5. This means from now on I will be doing all the feedings at night. I know that most women do all feedings for their child and then go on to do a full day, so I do consider myself very blessed that Peter has helped out this much so far. I get a little bit of anxiety when I think about all the sleep I will be missing out on, and I know when i hear him snoring away, all i'll want to do is wake him up! Enzo is a pretty good sleeper, but my only problem is myself! I have been able to feed him, burp, change and put him back to sleep all in 45 minutes, and then when i go back to bed i have the hardest time falling back asleep! It is so frustrating! I just hope tonight also starts when i can fall back asleep! Say a little prayer for me!

Too funny not to tell.

This post is to all the mothers out there and for those who want a little laugh. To some of you reading this it may be a little gross so be for-warned.
Here is a little back story. We recently decided to switch fully to formula and i have not been pumping out my milk as much as i was before. So it's feeding time for Mr. Enzo and I make him his bottle and start to feed him. He leaves behind a little over and ounce and usually he wants it after a few minutes, so brilliant me thinks..."Hey! I should just breast feed him the rest of what he wants, just so i can get some breast milk out" (My boobs have been hurting a little) So I put him to the breast and he has no idea what to do. So i get him going and he starts to cough and then gag...no biggie...Then all of a sudden he PROJECTILE vomits all over my exposed chest not once, but 3 times!!! All over me, all over himself and all over my bed. I start laughing so hard b.c i knew it was probably a really dumb thing to do...Now i've messed up Enzo's routine, i have to do laundry and currently my boy is asleep and i'm waiting till he wants food again. Good thing Rocco was sleeping throughout this whole ordeal!

Slow Down!

Enzo is now almost 3 weeks old. Rocco is almost 22 months. I find myself wanting Rocco to stop growing up, and wanting Enzo to hurry and grow up. Having a newborn once again has been a little hard adjusting to, but I do have to say it is MUCH easier this time around than with Rocco. I am thankful for that. My little one eats every three hours and then sleeps, so there are moments of calm, but I long for a good nights rest :) It's amazing how lack of sleep truly affects your sanity! Right now my focus are my kids...i must care for them and push forward. I need to enjoy the newborn stage b.c it will quickly be over and I won't be able to put my little bundle to sleep on my chest and soon he will be a 30 pound toddler running around telling me what to do!

Home sweet home!

We are home! Enzo Fredric Anderst now joins our little family! This is how it all began...

Monday night went better than expected. I thought i would be nervous and scared but i was quite calm. I even told Peter that i truly could feel everyones prayers, so for those of you that were praying...THANK YOU! There was only one moment in the evening when i got emotional and that was after we put Rocco to bed. I was sad b.c i had to leave him for 3 days and I knew his life was going to change.
Tueaday morning arrives and we get up, get ready and head to the hospital. I sign in, they give me a gown and weird looking slippers and Peter and I are off to wait till they can find me a bed and send me down to the operating waiting room. At this point now they have assigned us a nursing student that by the end of the day I wanted to punch in the face. Miss eager beaver was fine at first and i had no problem with her being around...but then she was ALWAYS around. It was as if she was part of my experience and she just would not leave Peter and I alone. When I was waiting to go into the actual operating room i was obviously nervous and she was asking me if i needed to talk about my emotions...this is when Peter asked her to leave...it was awesome.
Anyways...then into the operating room i went! I was SOOOO scared for the needle, but everything went smoothly and then it was 9:48 am and i heard the most glorious cry! Enzo had arrived and everything was worth it for him.
The rest of out stay at the hospital was fine. I was pleasantly surprised at how good the food was. It was healthy and quite delicious actually, and I was so thankful for that. The only down fall to our stay was that I had to share a room with 2 other families. Not so fun when one of the moms is puking her guts out and all i could do is pray it would end soon. Thankful we pushed hard to get out of the hospital after 48 hours and sure enough we were out of there by Thursday morning! It was so nice to see sunshine again!
Now it's been 4 days and things are going so great. Our first night home was a dream. Enzo woke up twice and after feeding, her went right back to sleep! Last night was not so good, but i don't feel that anxiety I did with Rocco. I know there are going to be sleepless nights, but I look at his face and it's so worth it to me! He is also a good napper...for now, so i do get to rest during the day.
Well, i should get to feeding my little munckin so i'll keep posting on how things are going!

This is it. My last day of being pregnant and my last day of having a family of three. I can't believe it's finally here. It became very real to me last night when all my family members either came to visit me, or called me to wish me good luck and to make sure i would call them once baby is born. Right now all I can do is sit and think about when is going to happen to me tomorrow. I should probably be getting ready...as in packing and cleaning...but i feel like i need to take in my last moments of peace and quiet (Rocco is outside with his dad) before my life becomes busy with a newborn. I am mentally preparing myself for what is to come or at least when i think is to come. It may be much easier this time around but i have a funny feeling it will be about the same as it was with Rocco. Well, whoever is reading this, i would appreciate your prayers tonight (for sleep) and for tomorrow morning around 9:15am! Pray that both of us are happy and healthy!

3 to 4

In less than 5 days, my little family of 3 will be a family of 4! I am absolutely terrified and extremely excited all at the same time! I worry ab0ut how Rocco will react to the new baby, how fast or slow i'm going to heal, if breastfeeding is going to be successful this time, and the list goes on and on. I definitely feel more prepared for this baby, and yet i am still so nervous. I still sometimes can't believe i'm going to be a mother of 2...i'm going to have Kids...Children...Boys!

Day Out

Today was a great day. I had made plans with my best friend to go out for lunch and then help out with some wedding stuff. Lately i've been hesitant to go out anywhere b.c i move so slow and eventually i start to feel pain in all different parts of my body. But, bc i'm part of her special day, and b.c i have so much fun with her, i decided to suck it up and just go. I even told Peter i wouldn't be too long. Over 4 hours later I come home! I had such a good time out! I realized that I haven't been out just doing things that don't revolve around my kids...in a long time. I even bought myself 2 sweaters when we went to the mall! Really, it was nothing special, but it felt so good to be out and not worry about my little guy at home...who was in fact having a blast with his daddy! I unfortunately had to cut my time out a little short due to the fact that I felt like my unborn child was going to fall out...but that's how it goes when you're 37 weeks pregnant!
Anyways, i think i need to remember to have these kind of days once in a while to give myself a little bit of a break from being just a "mommy".

March 22

It's official! Baby boy #2 is scheduled to arrive Tuesday March 22 at 10am! I am having a scheduled C- Section with this baby and I am MORE than ok with that! I like that I can plan around his birth and it's not going to be some sort of guessing game as to when he will arrive. It will though, seem quite odd to wake up on that day and think "alrighty, time to go have a baby..."
I haven't put an "official" announcement of facebook, and i probably won't, and I know i'm taking a risk by putting this on my blog, but if you are reading this post consider this a fun secret that i've shared with you!
I'm soooooo excited!

Valentines Day?

Today is Valentines Day. Usually I would get all excited b.c I knew there would be something fun that Peter and I would be doing together. A while ago we had decided to alternate years, so last year was my year to plan and we had a great time. This is year is Peter's year and I think we may be doing something next week sometime...and surprisingly, I am completely ok with that! Today was just not a good day to do anything...really this whole week is not good for romance! Too much to do! Today I had a doctors appointment meeting my obstetrician and talking about my c- section, and then during lunch Rocco all of a sudden threw up and I had to clean up this huge mess b.c Peter was at school. So I spent the rest of the day worrying if he was sick, getting sick, or he just gagged on something... Then it was play time, supper time, bath time, then bed time! That was my Valentines Day! I think it's actually kind of funny that this supposed "special" day was really just another day in the Anderst home!

Is it March yet?

I am more than ready for this baby to come out. Not only b.c i am so excited to meet him, but b.c i need to get my body back. When i was pregnant with Rocco, I was more than ok with getting huge and just embracing my pregnant body. But now that I HAVE Rocco around, it it very hard for me to embrace this body. The reason is b.c my pregnant body is making it very difficult to do anything, especially things that relate to my Rocco. Mostly just playing with him is difficult b.c he is so active and loves to play hockey and run around and that is just not an option for me right now. Poor guy. I feel so bad, but I know that this won't last forever and it's almost over. We still do fun things, but it mostly involves me sitting on the couch watching him play and cheering him on!
I can't wait to be able to walk, run, and just MOVE normally again! But it is still absolutely worth it.

No more TV!

Well, at least not during the day! Many of you know that I love watching tv. I love the news, i love documentaries, dramas, comedies, and i especially love reality TV (except Jersey Shore)...Anyways, I would have the tv on from the moment i woke up, till the moment i went to bed. Even if i didn't watch it, I liked having it as background noise, and it made me feel not so alone. Now that my son is growing up like a weed, i've been starting to notice how much he too likes to watch whatever is on. The moment i realized this was becoming a big problem was when he would just "zone out" for a long period of time and not want to play with his toys. But i think what hit home for me was watching (of course) the news and how the did a study that kids that watch too much tv, have a harder time concentrating on anything else except the television. Also, the children studied was less likely to use the creative part of their brains and therefore not be able to concentrate on anything for a long period of time. I've always heard that too much tv was not good for kids, but i thought if i was watching boring stuff like the news, he could care less. Not the case. So, no more tv while the munchkin is awake! Occasionally we will watch an episode of Elmo's world, but besides that... nothing! I've only been doing it for about 3 days now and i've been really enjoying my time with Rocco, and when he is playing on his own, I read. Now i just need to find more reading material! and hopefully when the weather is back to normal, we can go outside and play.

Tick Tock

Time is getting closer to when my baby boy is set to arrive! I cannot wait to see what he looks like and just how life will change for us (again). Why are we so crazy? I can't believe my family will now be a family of 4! I'm 27 years old and I will have 2 kids, married for 6 years, back in Winnipeg, and my husband in school for nursing. If someone would have told me this is what my life was going to look like...i totally wouldn't have believed them! Especially the whole...living back at home with mom part. Ha! But, once again, I absolutely love my life! Seriously where has the time gone? This June will be my 10 year high school reunion. 10 YEARS! Crazy! Can't wait to see what the next 10 will bring!