Christmas? Where did you go?

This year it seemed like Christmas came and went...fast. Usually this time of year feels like time stands still and I get to enjoy every second. Not this year. I honestly felt that Christmas was just another day. I also had mixed emotions about it all...on one side, i felt that i truly grasped the meaning of Christmas and how it was not about the hustle and bustle... but about Jesus and his amazing gift to us. I would become quite emotional when i would here songs like O Holy Night and others that are just so beautiful to listen to because of the powerful message they have. Then there's the other part of me that wanted Christmas to be all that it's supposed to be, and what that was supposed to look like...i was not sure, and so i felt disappointed. I don't know if it was the fact that we were not in Alberta, or maybe b.c Christmas was not like it usually was in past years, or maybe b.c we couldn't make it to a candle light service. I couldn't and still can't explain why I was sad. Maybe it's the hormones. I love my family so much and it was nice to spend some time with them, so at least we had a nice hang out time together that just so happened to include some gift giving.

Over Half way done!

Currently I am 23 weeks pregnant. So far the pregnancy has been going really well, but the worst part about it, is at night when I have to get up to go to the washroom. I think last night, i got up about 6 times. It was awful. Sometimes i can fall back asleep no problem, but i do have those moments where it takes me a VERY long time to get sleepy. It is almost as if I have tons of energy and I can get up and start my day...too bad it's usually around 3am. I know that this is supposed to "get me ready" for when my newborn baby arrives, but right now I would rather have my baby boy keep me awake, than my bladder. I have a few more months to go and I am not looking forward to this going on...boo.
Thus the life of a pregnant woman.

It's been a while...

Well, it's been a long time since i've written anything. Nothing too exciting has been happening in my life right now so i thought i would write about all the cute things Rocco has been doing lately.

1- He ASKS us to play music so he can dance. He loves hip hop and basically anything with a beat.

2- He can say mama, dada, bye bye, Elmo, down, up, uh oh, bath, all done, agua (water ), and shakes his head for yes and no. He still uses his sign language for "all done, more, please, and thank you"

3- He looks at my belly and can say "baby"
4- He loves to sit and watch Elmo You Tube video's
5- He absolutely LOVES cars and trucks. He likes to say "vroom, vroom" every time he sees one.

I just love him so much. I can't wait for my next little bundle of joy to arrive!

Ugh.

Recently I watched a news program on how "new" studies have shown that drinking alcohol while pregnant is ok and if done moderately it should not affect the baby. ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME!!!! I was outraged when I saw the pregnant mother drinking a glass of wine and talking about how she might even have another one. It is scientifically proven without a doubt that alcohol is poison to a fetus and will damage the brain and cause FASD. I know that there have been many mothers that have drank alcohol and there children are healthy and happy. But I also know of mothers that have drank one glass of wine once, and has a child with FASD. Recently I heard a mother say "I don't know what the big deal is...women in Italy drink all the time and there kids are fine" I was absolutely disgusted and so angry. I strongly believe that if you actively choose to drink while you are pregnant then you are being completely and utterly SELFISH. A mother that chooses to drink is putting her WANTS first and not the needs of her unborn child. Why would a mother want to risk doing damage to an innocent life, just so that she can drink? Being able to conceive and carry a child is a blessing that not all women get to experience and every child is precious and therefore should be treated as such.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is just around the corner and i just wanted to take some time to share all the things that i am Thankful for.

1- My relationship with Jesus. I really think everyone should have one.
2- My son Rocco. I love him more than words can express.
3- My un-born child growing inside of me. What a miracle.
4- My husband Peter. He is my soul mate.
5- The willingness of my mother and Ignacio to let us live in their home.
6- My brothers. I love them, and I love how they love Rocco.
7- Emotions. I love crying at things worth crying about. Good and Bad.
8- Laughing. After all these years, I still love my laugh. I'm loud and I like it!

I know that most, if not all of these things are obvious things I should be thankful for, but i've been reminded lately that i should take nothing for granted. Nothing.

Bun in the oven

It's official now! I am now announcing to the world that I am expecting baby numero 2! Currently I am 13 and a half weeks and am thrilled to have heard the baby's heart beat yesterday. It is almost a surreal feeling to think i'm going to have ANOTHER baby, but we are excited to welcome this little bundle. Baby number 2 is expected to arrive in March but I have a feeling it will come sometime in early April...but who knows?!?! I have been feeling quite nauseous for the first few weeks, but now I'm feeling much better and I seem to have my appetite back times 10! I get so hungry so fast that I need to shove something in my mouth or else i feel like i'm going to throw up! Once again I am reminded that EVERY pregnancy is so different and that my body is going to go through some pretty crazy changes in the next year...AGAIN! I am going through a wide range of emotions, but mostly I am excited to meet this new little person growing in my ever so growing belly! :)

A few days ago, I saw an info-mercial on a program for babies that guarantee's that they will be able to read way before they head to kindergarden. They even had 18 month old children on the program reading at a grade 1 level! It was so bizzare, but at the same time it got me thinking, and panicking...do i need to take more time to try and teach Rocco how to read? If I don't try now, will it harm him in the future? A part of me really hates those kinds of commercials b.c their intention is to make parents feel guilty if they do not buy their product. Well, Good job! Way to make me feel like if my child doesn't start reading by 18months, then i am a complete failure as a parent. Good thing I have a husband that knocks that thought right out of my head and makes me realize once again that ALL kids learn differently and learn things at different times!

Ready...or not!

It has been pretty cold lately, but still nice enough to go out and about. So today i wanted to take Rocco to the Library to look at some books and sign him up for baby reading and rhyme time! So I got him ready, got myself ready, and to the car we went. Then i realized the car seat was out of the car so i attempted to try and put it back in the car. It was a complete disaster! I could not get it to tighten up properly and I was not going to drive with Rocco in the car when I feel he is unsafe. To make things worse Rocco was crying the entire time and at one moment i even accidentally pushed the car door in his face making him fall down. After that happened, i was so frustrated that I decided to just go for a walk. We got on our way and we ended up having a great time! I took Rocco to the park and we had so much fun! We even helped someone find their missing dog! I wasn't able to make it to the library, but there's always tomorrow!

5am

These last few days, Rocco had been waking up at 5am. The other day it was 2,3,4,and then 5am, and I am hating it. The first few nights it was for no reason...i would go into his room, check his bum...nothing...check his crib to see if there was anything there...nothing. So i would put him down, stick his soother in, and walk out. The whining soon after would begin and it is driving me crazy! Eventually he would fall asleep, b.c i refuse to go in more than once.
This morning, right at 5am I here him yelp and I quickly go into his room b.c i am already quite furious, and begin to lay him down when i notice he's completely soaked. Poor baby had wet himself, so I had to turn the light on...which he hates...and proceed to change the little guy. I didn't even bother with the crib and just brought him back to our room where i laid him down in between Peter and I and he fell right asleep. My anger soon went away as I watched my little angel fall asleep beside me. He is so beautiful and looks so peaceful. I just wish the pee would stay in his diaper, and whatever is waking him up at 5am would just not happen. Oh well.

We're gonna party like it's your birfday!

Well, Rocco is one lucky boy. Yesterday we celebrated his first birthday for the second time. But this time it was Latino Style....which means, invite EVERYONE and more! At first I thought my mom was making WAY to much food and I had made WAY too many cupcakes, but lo and behold it was all gone by the time it was all over. People started to show up around 3pm and the last person left at 9pm. It was a long day, but it was fun. When the house was completely packed with people, i was stressing out a little, but that's only b.c. I feel like I don't know what I should be doing and I feel like just crawling in my bed and disappearing. But Rocco was having a blast and I love watching people look at my son with Love and see them want to hold him and play with him and just bless him. I don't think Rocco will ever realize how blessed he is! I think my favorite part of the day was watching my two brothers help out with the Pinata. I love how they just LOVE Rocco and they love just playing with him! Rocco loved his whale piniata that his abuelita made for him and he didn.t want anyone else hitting it but him so after every other child we had to let Rocco hit it or else he would throw a fit! It was pretty crazy, and I let him b.c he was the birthday boy and he could do whatever he wanted! hehe!

Well, all said and done I was completely exhausted by the end of the night, but I am so thankful for all those who came out to celebrate with us and I'm also glad we are just doing this for his first birthday! :)

I just wrote a new post and then i accidentally deleted it! AHHHHHH! So this one will be short and sweet!

Well, back in Winnipeg and loving it! We are doing nothing and we love that...especially my husband who is taking advantage of all his free time before school starts by playing his beloved Xbox(boo). I, on the other hand have been enjoying my little boy Rocco. He is so amazing to watch and he is so fun to play with. Today we read books for half and hour and he smiled and laughed! I wonder what goes through that little mind of his! I also plan on going to the beach, but it has either been way to hot, or a chance of rain, so i need to wait for a happy medium in order to go! I think the best thing about being back is sleeping in my own bed! I LOVE my bed, and I love sleeping, so i'm definitely taking advantage of Peter being home so i can SLEEP!!!

Well, sorry about the scattered post, but I had a really good one written and then it went bye bye.

I will try and write again soon!

Pinecrest Bible Camp

We just arrived last night from our week long stay at Camp Pinecrest. Peter and I led the kidlets in worship this week, and let me tell you...it was amazing! First of all, it was nice to be able to sing again, and second, it was just so fun to be there and to hear little voices praising God. At first Peter and I were not so thrilled to be leading anything, and were a little hesitant to find out how Rocco would do "camping", but everything went better than expected. On our last night there, we had one last campfire and we sang all the songs the kids loved and it was amazing. Peter and I had already packed up our car so we could leave right after, so i just wanted to sing and go home (the farm). The campers were SO excited to sing and were doing all the actions and just having a blast, and let me tell you, that kind of feeling is contagious! I couldn't stop smiling and laughing. They were singing SO loud, I was afraid we would get in trouble but really i didn't care! I even got a little emotional thinking, i had to leave these awesome kids and some won't hear any of these songs until they come back next year....if they come back. All in all, camp was awesome! Rocco even started to walk there so now it is even more special to us! I'm glad our little family was able to do that and be an example to these kids.

And then on our way home we hit a deer and now we HAVE to get out car fixed before we can drive back to Manotoba. Oh boy.

Farm Life

We have been on the farm now for a bit over a week now and it has been great. Well, except for there being a shortage of water, and the internet not working most of the day, but things are going so well here. It seriously feels like we can finally relax after being in Edmonton for 2 months. Life was just a little more crazy up there for some reason. Peter is in a good mood every day, even if he has worked more than 8 hours, and I, as well as Rocco, have been in good moods. It certainly does feel like a second home and I am so thankful for that. Life is just simple and calm and I like it that way....for now. Rocco is being so funny and he is at the stage where he is copying things that you do and is so interactive now. I love being able to experience all those little things with him. He also LOVES being outside. Today he woke up from his nap, went straight to where his shoes were, tried to put them on and then waited by the door till someone would take him out. I was doing something, so it was grandma to the rescue and she took him to the swings. Rocco seriously loves being outside and I love it! I hope this continues till he is a teenager! Anyways, things are so good here, and i love that we have a few weeks to enjoy our time here!

2 down 1 more to go.

I can't believe our 2 months of being in Edmonton is over. We are off bright and early to the farm tomorrow for our last month in Alberta. I have really enjoyed my time here. I know at the beginning I was ready to go back to Winnipeg, but I knew that I needed to stop myself from being negative and just enjoy what Edmonton, and the people in it, had to offer. Peter and I have felt totally overwhelmed with how generous people have been to us. Our dear friends Christian and Kim have been so awesome to let us stay with them for a month and to be honest, we really didn't know them too well, but now I can say that they are great friends and I will miss being in Edmonton to hang out with them. They were an amazing blessing to us.
I will also miss all the rest of my good friends here. I truly love all of them so much and I love how I got to spend so much time with them. I had made a list of all things I wanted to do here and I can say that i have done all of them! I am so ready to get to the next chapter of our adventure and I am excited to be on the farm and to just relax and hang out with even more people! Rocco has been amazing throughout all the transitions, which is definitely another huge blessing for Peter and I.

Well...so long Edmonton! It was fun being back! See you again.

No Naps

My lovely son has not been wanting to nap AT ALL! He has been on an awesome routine since we've been in Edmonton, and now i feel like it's all shot to hell. He wakes up around 7 and usually i put him down 2 to 2 and a half hours later and then he wakes up around 11 and I put him down again around 1:30 then he wakes up at 3:30 -4 ish. Nothing even close to this has been happening. He gets tired and grumpy, so I put him down...but then it's like his crib gives him an abundance of energy. He doesn't cry at all which is nice, but it's almost even more irritating b.c he is EXTREMELY happy. He laughs, talks and jumps around till i decided to take him out. Once I do, he is so grumpy and whiny and not his cute self. I feel bad leaving him in there for so long, but i want him to keep his routine. Plus, now I have no naps so i'm extra tired. Peter thinks he just need one nap now....i don't agree but we'll see what happens. Ugh.

***WARNING****

If you don't want to read something gross...then thanks for stopping by and come on back another time!


Now, I get so mad every time I get my period. I mean seriously upset that I have to deal with this pain in the ass issue. Here are some reasons why;

1- no sex
2- I have to spend what I think is a ridiculously amount of money of tampons
3-cramps
4-The fact that it lasts for too many days

Back in Bible times, us women were considered "un-clean" during our period and they were sent out into the wilderness until it was over. I think that we should do that now as well...but with a twist. I think that whenever us women get our period, we should have a retreat center where we can go and "be in the wilderness" for however long our period lasts. This place would be for women only with 24 hour on call masseurs, gourmet chefs to cook us meals, punching bags, therapists, free tampons and pads, and an open pharmacy. This place would kind of be like an all-inclusive resort with all the perks! I also think this would benefit our husbands so that they don't have to deal with our PMS for a week!

Anyways, I just got to thinking about all this stuff when I was waiting in line to pay not only for tampons but for more diapers for my son! I hate spending money on things that are just for collecting human waste. I should get a government grant for this stuff. They give money away to stupider things.....why not?

Father's Day.

I always have mixed emotions about this day. Many of you who know me would know why. But this year I was excited. It's Peter's first father's day and I am so excited for him. He is a changed man since Rocco came into our lives. He is more sensitive, loving and just more of everything good that is my Peter and when I see him with Rocco, my heart is bursting with pride and admiration. Rocco is so lucky to have him as a father and i am so lucky to have him as a husband. I am a HUGE advocate for empowering your husband in all ways so that he can be a good father. (It drives me bonkers when wives don't let their husbands do anything and then they complain that they as the mother do everything) Even though i was so nervous at first to leave Rocco with him, I needed to, so that he could feel that he is more than capable to take care of him on his own. I always want to make sure that Peter is confident as a father, and even though I am the main care giver to Rocco, I want Rocco to know we are one unit and that we are both responsible for him. Peter is an amazing father and I am so proud of him.

Every child is different.

Every child IS very different. I have not met one boy that is just like my son, and I love that. I love that there is no one else like him! This also means that he learns differently as well, and that includes things like sleeping, eating, walking, talking...all that fun stuff. So when other people like to tell me that my son "should" be doing this or that by now, or I should be doing this or that with him...It drives my crazy. I try really hard to respect how other people do things, so I would hope people would just do the same for me. Maybe as a parent I am now a little more sensitive to things like that, but i just want moms to be confident in what they choose to do with their child and have the support of those around them. But just because something works for your child does not mean it will work for mine.
This little rant just came from something I watched on tv and it just bugged me.

Too Early

Well, today started off to early. Rocco woke up a little before 6 am which is too cruel. Right now he sleeps in the same room as us, so he knows we are there and he whines and whines until someone ( which is always me) pays attention to him. Ugh. All I want to do right now is hop back into bed b.c i have just put him down, but i know that he won't be able to fall asleep if he know i'm in there....i just need to wait till he falls asleep and I can crawl back into my comfy, warm, ever so welcoming bed. If I could only reason with him, and make him understand that for mostly his benefit, he should not wake up so early and go right back to sleep so that he is a happy boy and not a crazy whiny baby that cries over everything. Which kind of sounds like what I feel like doing on mornings like these.

On a side note....at least I get to watch a few minutes of world cup soccer! :)

Rain Rain go AWAY!

It has been raining all day for the last few days here in Edmonton. Sometimes it feels like it's been raining more than it's been sunny. I had all these plans to go out for walks with Rocco everyday and to go to the park, and basically to do things outdoors bc last summer i spent most of my time inside with a newborn! The days that ARE nice, I try and get outside with Rocco and it feels so good so get some fresh air, and some sun so I can get some sort of a tan!

Spanglish

I am so excited that my grandma (My Dad's mom) is in Winnipeg! I haven't seen her in almost 3 years and I can't wait to be able to talk to her and fill her in on my life. But I am also so worried. I have to admit that my spanish is not where it should be. I know this is not an excuse, but i rarely speak it anymore. Peter and I want Rocco to speak spanish, but we are both at fault for not pushing it more with each other...and probably more my fault too b.c i'm the one that actually knows that language. I can speak, read, write it, but i'm so scared that i'll make a mistake that i would just rather speak in English. I need to just swallow my pride and just go for it...and I think that I will learn from that. I want to be able to tell my grandma things and actually express to her everything that I want to and just to be able to have a conversation with her and not just say "si" or "bien". I just really need to go for it and start practicing while i'm here with Peter....AHHH!

Worst Hair Cut EVER

So today I got a haircut. I went in there this morning so excited to get my haircut from a place that i've loved going for about 2 years. I was excited to get something a little shorter since, as most of you know...the front part of my hair is straight and the back curly (thanks to my dear son Rocco) So the girl that used to cut my hair no longer works there, so they put me with her re placement. I told her what I wanted, how short i wanted it and we went for it. As soon as she took the scissors to my head I know something was wrong, but i thought "nope, i know she knows whats she's dong"...I had never had a bad haircut there ever, so i was confident in her skills. When she moved to the sides of my hair i realized that, yes, she was cutting ALOT shorter than I had said. So i said " ooooh, that's short" that's when she went on to say "yeah....I went shorter b.c i knew it would look better" So i continued to sit there, trying not too panic as she kept cutting...it was WAY too late to say stop. When she was done, I just tried really hard to like it, and I think at the salon I coninced myself that i liked it, so I think i convinced her of that as well. On my way home, at every red light i was checking out my new hair and the more i looked in the mirror...the more i hated it and by the time i got home, I was crying. I went straight to Peter to show him and he said he liked it, but i know he was being nice. The haircut itself is what i wanted but LONGER!!! So i guess i just have to grow it out....even though growing my hair out TAKES FOREVER!!!! And i was so sad that i had taken almost a whole year to grow my hair as long as I had to be cut away in one second. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I think i'm going into hibernation and not going out for a month...

Motivation

It's been almost a year since I had my baby Rocco and I am still struggling to lose my 'baby' weight. It sucks bug time. I tried to be strict and work out for over a month and i saw NO results. So I've been having a pitty party for myself for a long time now, and I think the party needs to be over. Every summer i go through a time of panic where i have a love/hate relationship with Summer. I love it b.c i can go to the beach, tan, and just enjoy the great outdoors. I hate it bc I hate trying to find clothes that look good on me and that I feel comfortable with. I feel so sorry for Peter who needs to deal with this...but i just can't figure out why I have no motivation. I am quite a confident person and when I look in the mirror, I do like what I see...I like the way I look. Also, Peter is such an amazing husband and he loves me no matter what and he always makes me feel that way too. I always watch The Biggest Loser and the contestants always have a moment where they realize why they are overweight. I need to somehow figure out mine...I also just love food. Especially the kind that's not good for me...Boo
This is actually quite a big step for me to write this out in public, but i'm in a good mood and i felt like writing about something...That's all!

Life so far

Well, we've been in Edmonton for almost a month now and it seems like we just got here! Time has flown by so fast, and it makes me excited that we are closer to being back in Winnipeg. We had gone down to Calgary this past long weekend, and we had an AWESOME time! I finally made it to the Calgary zoo and it was so fun! Rocco did not sleep the entire time! He didn't even sleep on the way down to Calgary, so I for sure thought he would be cranky and sleep while we were at the zoo. He ended up staying awake and was so good! Now we are packing up our stuff and moving on to our next home for a month. I hate packing and un-packing, but thank goodness it's not too much stuff....yet. Today Rocco is 11 months old and he is getting so big. He is SO loud ( I wonder who he got that from...:) and when he doesn't get what he wants, then he will definitely let you know he is not happy. Anyways Rocco is adjusting amazingly and Peter is loving being back at work and making money.
Sorry about the random post again....

New Ana

I think it's official....I would like to be back in Winnipeg now. I LOVE being back in Edmonton, but it is SO different being back and I think I thought it would be like it was when we lived here. I think the major reason is because now I am a mother. My priorities are different than what they used to be. There is definitely nothing wrong with that, it just comes down to stages in life, and really, besides my brother and sister in law and maybe 1 or 2 more couples...there is really no one else in Edmonton that is in the same stage in life as Peter and I. The more I think about it, the more i realize that i am now a different person as a mother. My perspective of life has changed drastically from how I was before. I used to want the big house, the new car, the best clothes, basically all things that are meaningless to me ( but sometimes I still would like to have...I am only human!). As much as I want my own house right now, I know that the desicion of living in my mother's basement is the best decision Peter and I have made. I know that many people see it as a bad thing, but I don't. Many people see it as a step back in life, but Peter and I see it as a step forward. We are not spoiled by living there, and we are not mooching off anyone by living there. We are doing what is best for our family, we provide Rocco with EVERYTHING that he needs ( and Abuelita provides things that he doesn't need! :) and for US ( as in Peter, Ana and Rocco) this works. Of course there are days where I just want my own space and I want to scream at my mother, but there are more pros than cons, and maybe i spoke to many of the cons, again I am only human.

Week 1

So we have been here for a week. I think the only down side so far has been the snow that fell the first few days. That really sucked big time! I wanted to go out for walks and do things outside, but i was kept inside! Now it's getting MUCH nicer outside and i'm ready to start my daily walks with Rocco! Being here in Edmonton has made me miss living here. Driving around made me miss having a life here and made me realize how much I loved being here. But then I think about all the awesome things that have been happening in Winnipeg and I find myself torn between 2 lives. I wish I can do both. One week here in Edmonton, one in Winnipeg, but i'll make sure we are in Winnipeg for church. I miss going to Oasis so much! We've been to 2 churches and I find myself thinking about what Oasis would be like on that Sunday....
Anyways, this is kind of a random post, but i have having a great time here, and i miss things in Winnipeg!

We have arrived!

We are now in Edmonton. Feels good. Feels strange. I think it feels a little strange because I had wrapped my mind around Edmonton being a place we now just visit and not live in anymore. I know we are only here for 2 months, but that is also a long time when you really think about it. Rocco seems to be adjusting well to all the change he has gone through these last few days so that's a positive....if only I were a little like him! Change is a little harder for me now and it's something i need to just pray more about. I'm looking forward to being here and doing all things I once did back when we lived here. More to come...

T-4 days

We leave soon. We are off to Alberta for 3 months. I was extremely excited and overjoyed to be going back, but now i kind of have mixed feelings about it. I have met so many new people and it feels really good that people want to hang out. Now that the weather is getting nice, I feel like there is so much to do in Winnipeg. I even have a dear friend that is getting married and i will miss all of her bridal showers. Oh well, the god things, is that i will be back and i can re-kindle those friendships once again when i return in August!
Don't get me wrong, i am still excited to go to Edmonton. I am excited to hang out with my niece and other family members, I am excited to see all my girls and some guys too :)...i am also excited to shop! It will be nice to be back.
All that's left is to pack....oh boy.

Gag Reflex

*****Warning! This post is about puke******

So lately i've been finding little puke spots all over our house. And yesterday alone Rocco puked 3 times! He has been sick lately and i think the phlegm in the back of his throat makes him gag and then makes him throw up. I had just finished feeding him when something made him gag and he threw up his ENTIRE meal!!! I have learned that my son has a very strong gag reflex and it is starting to get quite annoying. Another thing that is making him puke, is him finding things to put in his mouth that shouldn't be in his mouth. Like today, he found a crumpled up peice of paper and when Peter was trying to get it out od his mouth, the paper went down his throat and then PUKE EVERYWHERE!!! Ok, the peice of paper was totally my fault. I had left it in a place where i knew Rocco could reach it, i just thought i would put it in the garbage later. I really need to just stay on top of things and make sure the house is clean and free of small things Rocco can put in him mouth, b.c now Peter has to bring out the spot bot and clean up the pukey mess. I just hope the stains come out of his clothes!

6:20am

I now officially hate 6:20 am. It seems likes my sons body clock just likes to wake him up at that EXACT time every day...well except for those days where he likes to wake up at 4 am. I've tried to put him to bed later, and i've also tried to put him to bed earlier...nothing seems to work and it is driving me crazy. I guess the only good thing is, is that Peter gets up with me and we hang out as a little family in our bed till Rocco gets crazy and want to play with everything, so then we move to the living room and so begins our day. I know he's still tired b.c he rubs his eyes uncontrolably sometimes, and yet nothing seems to work. I just worry about when we're in Edmonton and he'll be in the same room as Peter and I and for sure we can't just ignore him till we feel like getting up. I also worry about those times where he wakes up at 4am, and usually Peter and I just let him cry it out till he falls back asleep, and i'll get paranoid and i won't want to wake up our gracious hosts. Yikes! It's not even 8am and i already feel like i've done so much....going to be a long day. Thanks God it's beautiful outside!

It's been a while since my last post and nothing too exciting has happened. Peter is almost done his exams! I cannot tell you how excited I am to not watch him study and to not hear him talk about all things school....I love you honey...but i need a break! And we will have a LONG 3 month break away from Winnipeg and in Alberta. I was really excited at first to go and be back to something more familiar...but now that I've been getting know people, like really getting to know people to the point where they want to hang out, i kind of want to stay to hang out! But when I think about it, i need to go back to Edmonton to see people that I love very much and who i miss! I have all of August and the rest of my time in Winnipeg to hang out with new friends! Now i have to think about all the things i need to bring with me...but i guess if i do forget something i can just buy it...
Anyways....this is not very exciting at all...more to come later!

Home sweet home?

I miss my old house. I miss the awesome gas stove, the large picture window in the living room and even the creaky wood floors upstairs. But I think the thing I miss the most is my own space. I think now more than ever i've realized that i need to have physical space...and silence. I think I was so used to having this before, and now that I don't have much of it....i'm craving it! I crave my alone time more then ever now ( more like Peter, Ana and Rocco time). I guess before, I had control over what was making noise in my house and now that I live with other people, that's not going to happen. Another thing that I miss is being messy. In my own home, I could make all the mess I wanted and just keep it that way till whenever I felt the urge to clean it up. Now that I live in someone elses house, I have to make sure that things are kept clean and tidy. Don't get me wrong...this is a very good thing, but there are moments where I just don't feel like keeping things neat and clean and I just want to veg out and not care. But I have to care b.c it's not my kitchen, those are not my plates, it's not my living room. I feel like i'm in permanant visitors mode, you know....where you are thankful people are letting you stay with them, but your kind of on pins and needles when it comes to their stuff and you are always making sure it's the way they like it because you want to respect their things and you want them to want you back :)
Really though, time has gone by really fast, and before I know it, Peter will be a nurse and we will be in our own little home, probably renting something and we will think back to this time where we lived with people and smile and think " I can't beleive we did that!"

He is Risen!

I don't think I have EVER thought about the true meaning of Easter this much before. I always just found it as an excuse to eat chocolate and hang out with family. But this year, I think i truly understood what it meant for God to give his only son to die for me and you. Maybe it's b.c I have a son and when I think about it, i don't know if i could give such a sacrifice. I love my son more than anything and if someone were to ask me to 'sacrifice' him, the answer would be no. My entire faith revolves around this one event. Without Jesus dying on the cross, there would be no reason why I live the way I live. His teachings would be meaningless without Jesus dying on the cross and rising again.
I have a hard time knowing that people still reject him. That people feel that they are better off without Jesus because they feel that they don't want to be "held back" or even accountable to anybody but themselves. Being a following of Christ is not about being closed minded, but about knowing what is right and wrong and living a life that is full of joy and love. It is about loving everybody, faults and all. It is about so much more than people think.
Today represents Christ rising from the grave so that we all may live. I am so thankful.

I love looking at people's photos. Especially when someone goes traveling. But most of the time, every time I sit down to enjoy these types of photos, my heart tends to hurt just a little. Usually this feeling goes away and life goes on, but sometimes it takes me a little while to get over it. It's the feeling of "I want to go there too, but I can't, and I may never be able to" feeling. I mostly get this feeling when I see pictures of Europe. It looks absolutely incredible there. The architecture, history and scenery are all things that make me want to go, and one day I want them to be my pictures I share with people.
Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change anything about my life now...(well maybe I would live in my own place :) I've said it many times in my blog that I love my life and I mean that. Everything that i've done so far has been a decision I have made and have not regretted. Getting married, having a baby, moving back to Winnipeg, are all things that have blessed my life beyond words. I guess there are just small moments of time where I want just a little bit more. One day I'll get to take that long flight over there and get to enjoy it myself firsthand. Till then, i'll just continue taking photos of the people and things I love here! :)

Amazing Love

I think I have realized how God feels about us as humans. I know he loves us and I know He wants the best for us, and I also know that He will always be there to pick us up every time we fall even when it's frustrating to him how He has told us and shown us how to live in order for us to have a joyful and fulfilling life, and yet we disobey him because we think we know better. It's kind of like parenting. Last night, Rocco woke up at 2am. Not good. I found him standing in his crib, completely exhausted so I laid him back down, put the soother is his mouth and walked away. A few minutes later, i hear him again and in my head i am secretly hoping he falls back asleep so i can too, but then he starts to cry and i know exactly why....he's standing and can't figure out how te to sit back down. So once i again i lkay him back down. This process happened until 3:30 this morning. The last time I went in there i felt beyond frustrated and then, while lying in my bed once again, had a thought. This must be the way God feels about us sometimes. He knows whats best for us, just like i know it's good for Rocco to be sleeping at 2 in the morning, but yet Rocco and myself many times, thinks it's better to just stand on our own. How frustrating! But how amazing is the love we have for our children and the love Christ has for us, that even though it's frustrating, He will be there, and continue to be there till we all learn.
Now, if I can only find a way to prevent Rocco from standing in his crib at 2am...

Humble Pie

Well, i ate a huge piece of humble pie recently. I know that i can get out of control when i'm angry, but that is not an excuse when it comes to hurting someones feelings. I know i could have just said "screw you" but i know that i've matured enough through the years to know when i have made a mistake and be able to take full blame. I need to learn how to be more gracious in times of anger and hurt. I guess we all have those times where we royally screw up, but i think it's good to recognize these moments and grow from them and move on. I always seem to have a "moment" every year where i learn a huge lesson in life and where i have to take a step back and reflect on what kind of a person i want to be. I want to be someone that radiates God's love in all times. I know that's a pretty huge goal, but i think it's also kind of simple. Love first. Now walk the talk Ana.

List

Rocco had a great sleep last night but this morning for his first nap...that was a different story. As I was laying in bed listening to him whine...not cry, but actually whining i was thinking about all the funny things that have hindered his sleep since day 1. I've decided to list them so that i can remind myself how funny it is, and really we'll have good days and not so good days when it comes to sleep, and i guess my son is just not a consistent sleeper and i need to get used to it!

- Newborn stage. This is quiet normal of course...the whole eating every 2 hours, and confusing night for day.

- Swaddling. He needed this to stay asleep but once he got his hands out, game over. which brings me to;

- Hands. Those stinky little hands that would rub his eyes till he woke up or scratch his face.

- Rolling. Next he would roll over on his tummy and cry and cry because he didn't know how to roll back....

- No bumper pads. I took his bumper pads out of his crib because he would chew on them and pull on them. Now his feet go through them and then he cries because he somehow can't pull them back in again.

-Sitting up. Rocco has learned how to sit up now, so of course he'll do this in his crib. He does and will literally sit and sleep and then fall over and hit himself on the head and then cry.

****sigh**** i'm sure the list will grow as he gets older, but again, I still absolutely LOVE being a mom and especially Rocco's mom.

The joys of parenting

Well, i had quite the adventure with Rocco and it's not even noon yet. I went to go and get him changed when i realized that he had no wipes. His wipes are all the way in the washroom, which is across the hall, but i had Rocco already naked. So i plopped him in his crib and ran to the washroom to grab the wipes, quickly ripped the packaging off and ran back to his room. As soon as I got there I look at Rocco and all I can see is the little fountain of pee and a huge smile across my son's face. I laughed but then stopped when i realized i had to do laundry AGAIN! I just washed his blankets and sheets the day before. Oh well.
I still absolutely love my life. I love the craziness of it all and i love how Rocco is such a joy to have and I am so proud to be his mom. Gotta go, he's going for the tv cords again! :)

My new addiction

So i've discovered Etsy. I've heard of it before but i've never looked into it b.c i have never really been into online shopping. But now since it takes lots of planning to get out of the house with Rocco, online shopping seems like a good idea. Well, not a good idea for my wallet, but so far i've only made 2 purchases, but have spent quite a bit of time browsing. I just love how Etsy is filled with handmade things.
This is the necklace i purchased. It will be engraved with an "r"...for my baby Rocco.

Family Matters

So our family has been dealing with some pretty heavy stuff lately. I guess I always thought that these "things" would never happen in our family and just to other people. What a horrible and naive thing to think. Now that we are dealing with this, it makes me question so many things that I believe in, and why i believe those things. I know exactly who, and where i put my trust in, and my heart breaks for those that don't. My faith is in Jesus Christ, and because I have a firm foundation in Him, all the decisions in my life involve him. But when life shakes that foundation, it's hard to stand firm. But I know what is true, and what is true, is that sometimes God allows things to happen in life that we don't understand. But i need to hope that his will is bigger than my own and that God, in all this craziness, will be glorified. Somehow.

Card Making

So i've been really into making card these last few weeks. Peter once told me a long time ago to find a hobby, well i have and I love it! The only down side, is that 1 card can take me up to an hour to make...sometimes even longer. I guess i'm just that picky with it. I was making a card just now, and it was looking awesome, till i accidentally messed up one little thing, tried to fix it and then ripped it up. Almost 1 hour of my time gone and a once great card completely ruined. So now i'm totally annoyed and have stopped card making for the night. Tomorrow i will try again.

I will try and remember to post some pictures soon...:)

Sleep...Where art thou?

So i have trying to get Rocco on a consistent sleep schedule, but it has been tough. Before he would go to bed pretty late and get up late...like 10 or even 11am! It was awesome for someone like me who LOVES to sleep, but for real life it does not work at all. So with the advice of many lovely mothers, i've been putting Rocco to bed between 7-7:30. At first he cried so much, and it broke my heart, but eventually he would fall asleep. Then he would wake up around 4 am and then cry again for another hour, fall asleep, then wake up at 7am. Not fun for Peter, myself and i'm sure for Rocco. His naps during the day were all messed up and it just sucked big time. Slowly but surely though, it has been going really well! Sometimes his naps will be too short and he'll just be completely grumpy and whiney and it makes me crazy!!! But he will go to bed on time, and sleep through the night, so that makes it a little better! He is getting this nasty habbit of rolling over to his tummy and not being able to roll back. What a kid!! He's lucky he's so cute! I think i got this sleep schedule almost figured out. The joys of parenting! I wouldn't trade it for the world!

Olympic Glory

Wow, i don't think i have ever cried as much as i have throughout these 17 days of the Olympics. I have never felt this much Canadian pride ever. Especially during the hockey game. As most of you know, i hate hockey...well i really can't say that anymore. For a few hours I think i finally understood how my husband feels about this game. I think this is the first time that a hockey game felt like it was 10 minutes instead of 2 hours! I am so happy for Peter and so happy that he gets to experience this in his lifetime...and mine too! Rocco was napping the whole time, but we made sure to take a picture of him by the tv showing the Canadian hockey team!
I absolutely love the Olympics and I cannot wait for the next ones to come! Now what am i going to cry about? hehe!

Girls Night

So last night we had out monthly girl night. There are 5 of us that get together once a month to eat and hang out. We just talk all night! It is so awesome to get together with a bunch of girls and not feel like i have to watch what i say! We are all so different, but it is so refreshing to get different opinions on things and just to get advice maybe no one else has thought of yet. I just love them so much and these girls mean the world to me! It makes living in Winnipeg a little nicer to know that i have these girls here to hang out with....only if it's once a month! Next time everyone will be here at my house. I originally wanted to go out for dinner b.c i LOVE eating out, but i decided to cook for everyone seeing as everyone else has cooked for me! Now i just have to figure out WHAT to cook....good thing i have 3 weeks!

New Beginnings

Well, here I am, once again blogging. I had a blog before, but now I think I'm going to start fresh with a new one. Sometimes I just want to tell everyone the funny things my husband says. or when Rocco does something new, or have a place to write my thoughts down. So this is me. These are the things I like to do, think about, or just complain about.